Far too often, rappers spit a rhymes that stand out for the wrong reasons. This is a collection of horrible lyrics, and appropriate captions.
Hall of Shame (Page 1)
"Those with a tiny hiny get whiny whiny" - Cam'Ron from 5 Boroughs (1999)
He should get his record contract revoked for this one. When he transformed from Killa Kam to "Cam'Ron the friendly Harlem thug," that was enough. He didn't have to spit this. I have to deduct cool points from KRS-One, just for having this line on his song. Cam is one of the only people that can make you think: "damn, Mase would have been better on this song." But I guess he's a business man. He's not tryin to be lyrical.
"First family will gradually lift that ass up like gravity" - Lil' Fame (of M.O.P.) from Half and Half (1998)
"Mommy, what do I need school for?...I'm gonna be a rapper when I grow up." I must have been absent the day they explained how gravity lifts that ass up. You can't even blame M.O.P. for this tragedy. Guru, Premier, the engineer, and A&R are all responsible. SOMEONE should have heard this error before the song hit the shelves. This is uncalled for.
"You the Captain, I'm the crunch" - Master P from Hoody Hoo (1999)
What? I understand it must be a difficult task to run a multi-million dollar record label, while wrestling, chasing hoop dreams, managing, and marketing a fashion line. But was this really necessary? If someone earns as much money as P, he should be able to afford a decent ghostwriter.
"Tyson bit Holyfield's ear, we love the sport" - Ghostface Killah from Holocaust (1998)
I'll never forget the day I heard this track. Some new cat, Holocaust, dropped one of the best verses of the year. Moments later, Tony Starks comes in to share his unique brand of lyricism with the world. This line cannot go unpunished. My suggestion: strap him to a chair, tape some headphones on him, and force him to listen to his own rhymes for 48 hours.
"Lemonade was a popular drink and it still is" - Guru from DWYCK (1994)
I think Guru is practicing for his next job, should Premier decide to leave Gangstarr. Opening a lemonade stand might be the only option for the king of monotone. Or he could do a door-to-door tour for the 38 people that bought Jazzmatazz.
"I say butter, you say parkay" - Greg Nice from DWYCK (1994)
Another classic line from "DWYCK." 20 monkeys on typewriters couldn't compete with the creative energy in the studio that day. I can't believe the Nice & Smooth comeback album didn't go triple platinum. It's an injustice.
"Ayo, we light a candle, run laps around the English channel
Neptunes got a cockerspaniel" - Noreaga from Superthug (1998)
Didn't you hear the interlude on Raekwon's album? Ghost doesn't want anyone biting his style, Nore.
"I drink Hennesy straight, with Tomato Juice" - Noreaga from Banned from TV (1998)
Straight with tomato juice? Damn. I really like this line because it reminds me of the time I went skinny dipping with clothes on. For those of you who haven't caught on yet, drinking something straight implies that you don't have a chaser. Another gem from the oxymoron thug.
"My dad, he was a boxer god, and he was really was glad" - Noreaga from Sometimes (1998)
I only wish this was a misquote. His dad was really was glad...hmmmm. "With liquor in his belly son, he made up the track"-Mos Def
"I play bitch niggas like bitches" - Group Home from Suspended in Time (1995)
How profound. I think if something had happened to Premier, these fellas would have been working under Guru at his lemonade stand. One could be responsible for water...the other could tackle the sugar.
Disclaimer: The contents of Wack Watch are only intended to provoke humor. Some artists that end up here are still respected (some have even been honored on Line 4 Line). If you're offended because your favorite artist is featured here, you should question your existence.
